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| Only one of these makes the list |
When
celebrated properly, Halloween is a great holiday. This means candy,
costumes, parties (if you're social), haunted houses, pumpkin
patches, corn mazes (okay, where I'm from, this is a thing), and
scary movies. Any combination of these in some form of participation
means that you're doing something right. Combine all of these for a
potentially awesome holiday.
Beyond the
holiday itself (which doesn't appeal to everyone as per the
conversation I had about two weeks ago), let's get down to the real
deal. Scary movie marathons. Now, some people don't like scary
movies, and some people love them. There are people who would watch
fright flicks every night of the week. Living for the thrill. Going
to bed scared. Or just getting a rush or laughing and sleeping it off. Other
people hate these films. They feel squeamish or adamant about not
watching them. The aura of evil soaks up everything in the room, and
it's downright terrible experience which will result in sleeping with the light on for days and weeks and jumping at nothing. They've also no doubt had someone grab them
while watching one, and subsequently this ass hat got added to the
List of People Who Suck.
I fall in the
middle. I don't love scary movies, but I think that Halloween has
some pretty essential films that make the holiday great. So when I
watch movies on Halloween, I pick them pretty carefully, and make
sure the people I'm with make me feel safe.
Warning! The
below mentioned films are not all for kids. When I say “Easily
Scared” that does not imply children as I know kids that are braver
than many adults. However, kids can watch about half the movies I mention. Seeing rating scale for particular film to judge.
Scream
Scream
was the first scary movie that my friends convinced me wasn't scary
that lived up to their claim (I was twelve). They were always egging me on (and I
was scared of freaking Hocus Pocus, mind you!), and even fell
asleep while I watched Tommyknockers alone
at 3am. But I digress.
Sidney,
played by the super foxy Party of Five, Neve
Campbell is still getting over the murder of her mom. They live in a
small town, so everyone knows about it, and the media is still
covering it. It's coming up on the anniversary of her death. But is
the killer really put away? The town issues a curfew when two people from the
high school end up dead.
This
means all the popular kids have a party at a huge house
with underage drinking to celebrate the shut down of school for the
investigation.
Why
This Film Applies
Sidney
defies early fright film main characters (which is explained by one
of guys in the movie in case those at home are not familiar with
the classics). She's tough, kick ass, and can take care of herself.
She's also smart and sassy. Plus, it includes some awesome actors
such as Matthew Lillard, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Drew
Barrymore, Henry Winklet, and Rose McGowen.
This
movie is both hilarious and spooky with some of the best scary movie
lines. It's the “where's the killer?” movie, but you can still go
to bed in relatively okay fashion. It also has some sexy and romantic
moments. Now divorced, Courtney Cox and David Arquette who were
together for quite some time, met on the set, so while their romance
feels real, it actually is real. Plus, David Arquette with a 'stache
playing a country cop is just fun.
Why it Shouldn't Scare
You
Kick ass
characters. Weapons. Brains. There's a cop handy. Your mom's not a
whore.
Nightmare
Before Christmas
This
is a children's movie, but it has good lessons. Jack Skellington, the
Pumpkin King lives in a world of Halloween. His fellow town folk spend
364 days a year prepping for Halloween to make it the most EPIC
holiday ever. Yet, Jack has done this too long. He's growing tired of
his job. He longs for adventure and newness.
That's
when he falls into Christmas Town and decides that he and Santa
should switch shoes and try out each other's lives.
Why This
Film Applies
Although creepy at times, this cartoon is not as scary
as some of the childhood movies I watched that weren't intended to
frighten kids (Fern Gully and Secret of Nimh anyone?).
There's romance, humor, and Jack is a great protagonist. He's lost
that loving feeling, and Christmas brings him back to life taking the
rest of his cronies along with him. It was inventive back when it
was released, and I still love it today.
Why it
Shouldn't Scare You
Singing and dancing. Cute little goblins. Also, it's a cartoon about a made up world.
Shaun
of the Dead
They made it as a parody romance film, but this is a
film about zombies. While all zombie movies are about the conformity
of society, consumerism at its worst, and being a herd of sheep, this
humorous romp takes it to the next level.
Shaun (Simon Pegg), dumped by his girlfriend Liz (Kate
Ashfield), lives with his best friend, Ed (Nick Frost), and is stuck.
He goes to the same pub, drinks the same beer, and hangs out with the
same friends. He is more or less a zombie, as are the other characters. Yet, Liz wants Shaun to get off his duff, get serious, meet his
mum, and move forward. Shaun and Ed's other roommate wants Ed to move
out. And Shaun...can't do anything. Not until there's a zombie
apocalypse.
Why it
Applies
The first zombie they assume is “drunk.” Shaun and
Ed are the ultimate duo. They make the end of the world so funny that
the first time I saw the film, my best friend and I were doubled over
with laughter during some of their back and forth wit. If I don't watch at least part of this movie every
Halloween...well, I don't know what would happen, but I can't NOT
watch it. Killing zombies becomes a skill and a sport, and Shaun the
“do nothing,” becomes the unlikely, fearless leader of a band of
friends. There is even a cameo by his old shared television series (Spaced) actress, Jessica Hynes.
Shaun of the
Dead gives you hope that when
the zombie apocalypse comes, you, the blob, directionless goon
will fly into action and start throwing your bad records (No! “that's
the first one I ever bought!”) at zombies' heads, save your mum,
your best friend, your significant other, and outwit the
brain-hunting fluff monsters.
Why it
Shouldn't Scare You
We
just went over that. You're the unlikely hero. Now there is some
gore, but it's not that bad. It's okay enough for Ed to take
pictures, so I think you're safe.
The
Thing
 |
| Not sure why Kurt Russell looks like a depiction of Jesus, but he wants you to "stop, collaborate, and listen" |
Kurt
Russell and his team of crack scientists are stuck in the arctic
doing research when a...a...thing takes over the unit. It slowly
infiltrates, but the gang is basically ready. In fact, they can study
it while they kill it! Double bonus for the smarties out there!
Why it
Applies
Kurt Russell uses a blow torch a LOT. This is awesome. I
distinctly remember a rollerskating dude. It's psychological, because
you're not sure who to trust, but do you ever know who to trust in a
scary movie? In addition to being a good Halloween classic, this film
is prepping you for all the winter parkas you'll need to wear and the
snow that's coming (unless you live in the South or a Southern Hemisphere continent).
Why it
Shouldn't Scare You
It's eerie, and there is one part that's really intense,
but other than that, it's a good movie. Kurt Russell totally has your
back. Just don't go to the arctic, and if you do, always bring a blow torch.
Arachnophobia
 |
| More lessons in weapon use |
Unless you have a really bad case of the above
mentioned, you can watch this film. If you are deathly afraid of
spiders, then move to my other suggestions.
A wild spider sneaks its way into the U.S. and mates
with regular barn spider to create...super babies! Jeff Daniels, who
hates spiders has to face his fear of them when his house (farm?) is
overtaken with them.
Why it
Applies
Again, you're on the edge of your seat and creeped out,
but unless you're really afraid of spiders, it's just a thriller.
Jeff Daniels has to overcome his fear, and that's all of us. If I
remember correctly, I think 8-Legged Freaks scared me more
than this did (and that's the parody), but it's been awhile.
Why it
Shouldn't Scare You
You can kill a spider. If you watch the making of this
movie, it makes the movie itself less frightening. The main spider is basically one of those grabber/reacher puppets. Spoiler alert...the spider DOES jump out of the fire. Just be prepared for
that.
Jurassic
Park
 |
| The outstanding graphics of the '90's still hold up over time |
In case you
hate spiders (and because Jurassic Park is a must-see), let's exchange them for a currency of dinosaurs! Billionaire philanthropist creates a park on an island with dinosaurs which have
been made from the juices of a frozen, Mesozoic (era?) mosquito. A bunch of
people, including Jeff Goldblum, fly to the island to experience and
judge the park to help with logistics before it's opened to the
general public.
Why it
Applies
Jeff Goldblum is a big-headed actor. Sam Neill and Laura
Dern and a couple of kids try to survive the dinosaurs when they get
trapped in the park. But Neill and Dern's characters are the Indiana
Jones of dinosaurs. So they can totally do this! I just wish Jeff Goldblum was in this movie more. Although, his character is annoying, so maybe not.
Why it
Shouldn't Scare You
They can't actually bring dinosaurs to life. Newman is
in it (he's more likely to sit on you than you are to come in contact with prehistoric creatures). If you get scared, you can watch the Rifftracks version with
Weird Al.
The Addams Family
They're creepy and spooky, but they don't keep you awake after you see them. In fact, they're touching, especially Thing, their pet hand. This is a kids film, but Gomez and Morticia Addams (Angelica Huston) are romantic, their kids (Christina Ricci could not be more perfect as a creepy little girl) are charming, and Gomez's brother (Christopher Lloyd!) has returned to the family.
Why it Applies
A happy romp that goes hand in hand with Nightmare Before Christmas, this is Jack and Sally's future.
Why it Shouldn't Scare You
This is one film that hits the nail on the head. Every family is different, and they may be odd-looking, but they're wonderful at parties.
Alien
Classic film about space aliens starring Sigourney Weaver, the mother of all alien movies. Investigating a nearby planet, a team of space researchers uncover a signal that's meant as a warning.
Why it Applies
Okay, okay, it does get a little bit scary at parts, but again, that's mostly just gore. It's more psychological than anything. Weaver rocks in her role, and you're on her side. Close the mother [bleep]ing doors! You've been exposed. No need to risk the lives of others. Which brings us to a quandry: when do we help our teammates and when do we let them die in space? (Also a question for watchers of The Thing.)
Why it Shouldn't Scare You
Why are you going into space to find aliens if you're afraid of this movie? Answer: if this movie does frighten you, just don't take the job. Problem solved.
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