Ruby Sparks

By DionysusPsyche

Calvin is an accomplished writer. Uncomfortable with fame. He feels all of his shortcoming, and has had a few recent let downs in his personal life which have increased his self-doubt. He believes people he meets care only about his notoriety. "They love you and then they throw you away," he is told by another writer. It must be disconcerting to go from being invisible to being in the public eye. "Write what you can and then disappear," the advice continues. Calvin is a hermit (if he wasn't already one), and isn't a man so much as a bundle of nerves. Because of his anxiety and preoccupation with his success, he has hit a roadblock in his writing.

Until Ruby.

Ruby Sparks is reminiscent of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl and introduced in not so many words as a redheaded version of Zoey Deschanel. Calvin instantly knows everything about his character as if he's memorized a fact sheet or an extremely old, well circulated internet survey.

It's hard to separate the idea of the film from the actual actions that are going on. The film can be broken down into two basic themes: falling in love and writing. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

The first concept stems from when you first meet someone, and you think they're perfect—not necessarily perfect for you. Just perfect. You have an image in your head of this person and want that person to continue to be the one in your head. People see people as who they want to see them as. Yet, the longer you're together, you discover things about them that make you incompatible, things that are annoying, things you don't like. Some people try to change each other, but that ultimately makes everyone more unhappy and doesn't work very well.

The other half of this is once a writer starts writing, the story takes on a life of its own. It's always with you, even when you're not writing. It takes over—the story becomes a part of your life. Even if you don't tell people about it, it's next to you when you go to the store or eat a meal. It's next to you until it's over. Until you've taken it as far as it can go. Not every character or plot goes where its author thinks it will, and depending on how one writes a story, sometimes the characters do bad things...but those are actions and thoughts that make them people. That make them real. when writers don't write, something happens to them. It's difficult to explain, but if you're a writer, you can't not write. Even if you're away from anything you'd write or type on, those thoughts are still turning over in your head like a ferris wheel. The fair may change towns, but that ferris wheel keeps going.

At first, I took a liking to Calvin. He definitely describes a certain kind of writer, or maybe someone that the audience could see themselves turning into. To a certain degree, I don't think we're supposed to adore him. We're supposed to understand where he's coming from, get that he's broken, and know that he needs to fix himself.

Notes 

I didn't fall in love with the film like Calvin falls for Ruby. I liked it less the longer it lasted. What I did appreciate was what the film represented. It's similar to Stranger Than Fiction, except I liked Stranger Than Fiction better, in perspective, although that was also a weird film. Ruby rubbed against me like a sandal that doesn't fit your foot and causes a blister. Then the blister pops, and then it hurts. Calvin's obsession with Ruby was both grating and obnoxious, even if it seemed probable. Everybody dates someone or has a friend that dates someone who seems great at first but ends up unbearable. I didn't even really like Calvin's dog...and I like dogs a lot.

Conclusion

Ruby Sparks was great as a trailer. It was good as a sentence. Its actual execution, not so much, even if there were sections of the film I enjoyed. This is a movie that makes a statement, and you either love it or you hate it. Perhaps you'll come to a different opinion than I did, because I see this film as more perspective oriented than many of the films out there.

Community

By DionysusPsyche

Not a lot of my friends have seen Community. The critics like it enough. Bits of social media conversation have sprung up occasionally, individuals commenting on an episode here and there. One friend claimed it was the “best show on television right now.” I wasn't sure what that meant, because “right now” could mean that nothing else good is on or that something better may be around the corner. From what I gathered, this series got bundled with other shows, but wasn't a “must see.”

When I went to watch it, I was hesitant. While many are fans of Chevy Chase, I am not. I've seen him in movies, caught snippets here and there of the Vacation movies, but over all, he's never really wowed me. I've found people put him in a similar category to that of Bill Murray and Steve Martin, and although this critic finds no fault with enjoying the entertainment your parents do, I tend to fall neutral on the matter (although let it be known that my preferences lie with Murray and Martin, in that order). You shouldn't love or hate something just because everyone else does, nor should you necessarily judge an actor based solely on previous works. So I decided to put my opinion of Chase behind me and get down to watching the show.

The show initially appealed to me, because I've been to community college. I fit there, because I was working, covering my basics, and trying to figure it all out. In this way, the show really gravitates towards that. It has your types: overachiever with issues, jock who couldn't score a regular college, the crazy old man that no one wants to be in a group with, the empty nester, the socially awkward one, and the charismatic/jerk leader. They don't have majors yet. They're all different ages, but they all need to study and a shoulder to lean on.

Expectations vs. Reality

I expected Parks and Recreation or The Office (quirky) meets Glee (heart, emotion) minus the uncomfortable humor, drama, and singing. Not as dry and awkwardly funny as the former two, not as intense as the latter. Yet, it wasn't really any of those things. I watched part of first season, not sure how I felt, then moved on to some of the “best” episodes. The cast is a quilt of misfits led by an ex-lawyer, Jeff Winger (Joel McHale). At the beginning of an episode, the set up is pitched, and then the gang either gets into a fight where they have to amend the breach by the end or they all get mad at one person and that person has to make apologies. Or both.

Half the characters are unlikable outright. She bristles to the touch, he's nails on a chalkboard, etc. The characters that are likeable aren't likeable enough, and no one is extreme enough to be funny in a terrible way or lovable enough to be funny in a wonderful way. They come off as cardboard cut outs waving in front of a screen. None of the cast that I've seen in other roles (Alison Brie, Ken Jeong) break out of their comfort zone. Which means that if you like these actors, perhaps you'll like them when they show up and almost read from the script onscreen. I do love Ken Jeong's character and Donald Glover who plays Troy (especially in the Halloween episode). It feels like the actors aren't acting, just talking (with the exception of Abed, the uncomfortable Indian obsessed with pop culture). Note: I just found "Best of Troy" on Youtube. I think I'm good for all I ever need to see of Community.

The episodes that are funnier than others are either borrowed from other movies or shows, and the funniest scenes do not make up for time lost. While there are other shows that frequently borrow or downright steal from other shows/movies, they make it really funny. Even when borrowing, the show still isn't great. Which is a shame.

Conclusion

This nearly humorless, waste of a time slot show is not something I would recommend to people. Quite possibly, I don't get the humor. The writing style is not meant for me. If you see clips of the show, and you like it, then more power to you! I have seen clips of the show I liked, and there are two scenes that make the time I did spend watching the show almost worth it. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. If you choose to take a chance on Community, I hope you fair better than I did.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by DionysusPsyche

Stephen Chboski talks a lot about family. He illustrates their troubles, weaknesses, deep-seated issues although not in a psychoanalytical way. He speaks as the voice of a teenager--an empathetic, young man who tells and understands what others might miss.

Easy reads are out there. Well-written literature overflows from libraries. The author stays true to his character, and he also manages to make even the worst main and secondary characters somewhat lovable.

"Some people have it worse," he writes at the beginning, and it really sets the tone. He's a good, smart kid. The kind you hope you were. The kind you hope you have.

Charlie is incredibly close to two of his friends, although the general feeling is that Charlie is still removed from the present. He does and says things that others don't do and say. His friends love him for who he is, but that doesn't inhibit them from wanting to tune in him ways to make him more understanding of human nature. Yet, Charlie is what he is, and as a narrator, he does a great job, even if we don't feel like we get the full impression of what's going on.

As someone who had a preference and received superior grades in Language Arts and writing, I make notes as I go along. I used to only read books and occasionally take notes, but I began realizing that I had to read all my books twice. This was stressful, so eventually, I just kept notes within the novels (in pencil, calm down, and I owned them). I once loaned a book to a friend, and he said that the best parts were my notes. I think of that whenever I read and write in the margins.

The primary reason I keep notes, is because I like keeping track of quotables. There is a main part of this novel that I had to contrain myself to keep from underlining.

Cons
The book is melancholy, and downright depressing at times. It feels like Charlie is both much older and much younger than is the case, and I, as a reader, couldn't grasp as to why it felt this way until the end. He looks at things in a way I'm not sure high school kids do. this is one of the few times that Charlie feels different. This continued throughout the second half of the novel, though it did significantly improve from the middle portion.

Conclusion
I haven't seen the film, but I think The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a good book. It's interesting, and there are some twists you don't see coming. At times, the main character feels a little like Forrest Gump, but in a good way.

8 Halloween Movies for the Easily Scared

by DionysusPsyche

Only one of these makes the list

When celebrated properly, Halloween is a great holiday. This means candy, costumes, parties (if you're social), haunted houses, pumpkin patches, corn mazes (okay, where I'm from, this is a thing), and scary movies. Any combination of these in some form of participation means that you're doing something right. Combine all of these for a potentially awesome holiday.

Beyond the holiday itself (which doesn't appeal to everyone as per the conversation I had about two weeks ago), let's get down to the real deal. Scary movie marathons. Now, some people don't like scary movies, and some people love them. There are people who would watch fright flicks every night of the week. Living for the thrill. Going to bed scared. Or just getting a rush or laughing and sleeping it off. Other people hate these films. They feel squeamish or adamant about not watching them. The aura of evil soaks up everything in the room, and it's downright terrible experience which will result in sleeping with the light on for days and weeks and jumping at nothing. They've also no doubt had someone grab them while watching one, and subsequently this ass hat got added to the List of People Who Suck.

I fall in the middle. I don't love scary movies, but I think that Halloween has some pretty essential films that make the holiday great. So when I watch movies on Halloween, I pick them pretty carefully, and make sure the people I'm with make me feel safe.

Warning! The below mentioned films are not all for kids. When I say “Easily Scared” that does not imply children as I know kids that are braver than many adults. However, kids can watch about half the movies I mention. Seeing rating scale for particular film to judge.

Scream

Scream was the first scary movie that my friends convinced me wasn't scary that lived up to their claim (I was twelve). They were always egging me on (and I was scared of freaking Hocus Pocus, mind you!), and even fell asleep while I watched Tommyknockers alone at 3am. But I digress.

Sidney, played by the super foxy Party of Five, Neve Campbell is still getting over the murder of her mom. They live in a small town, so everyone knows about it, and the media is still covering it. It's coming up on the anniversary of her death. But is the killer really put away? The town issues a curfew when two people from the high school end up dead.

This means all the popular kids have a party at a huge house with underage drinking to celebrate the shut down of school for the investigation.

Why This Film Applies

Sidney defies early fright film main characters (which is explained by one of guys in the movie in case those at home are not familiar with the classics). She's tough, kick ass, and can take care of herself. She's also smart and sassy. Plus, it includes some awesome actors such as Matthew Lillard, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Drew Barrymore, Henry Winklet, and Rose McGowen.

This movie is both hilarious and spooky with some of the best scary movie lines. It's the “where's the killer?” movie, but you can still go to bed in relatively okay fashion. It also has some sexy and romantic moments. Now divorced, Courtney Cox and David Arquette who were together for quite some time, met on the set, so while their romance feels real, it actually is real. Plus, David Arquette with a 'stache playing a country cop is just fun.

Why it Shouldn't Scare You

Kick ass characters. Weapons. Brains. There's a cop handy. Your mom's not a whore.

Nightmare Before Christmas

This is a children's movie, but it has good lessons. Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King lives in a world of Halloween. His fellow town folk spend 364 days a year prepping for Halloween to make it the most EPIC holiday ever. Yet, Jack has done this too long. He's growing tired of his job. He longs for adventure and newness.

That's when he falls into Christmas Town and decides that he and Santa should switch shoes and try out each other's lives.

Why This Film Applies

Although creepy at times, this cartoon is not as scary as some of the childhood movies I watched that weren't intended to frighten kids (Fern Gully and Secret of Nimh anyone?). There's romance, humor, and Jack is a great protagonist. He's lost that loving feeling, and Christmas brings him back to life taking the rest of his cronies along with him. It was inventive back when it was released, and I still love it today.

Why it Shouldn't Scare You

Singing and dancing. Cute little goblins. Also, it's a cartoon about a made up world.

Shaun of the Dead

They made it as a parody romance film, but this is a film about zombies. While all zombie movies are about the conformity of society, consumerism at its worst, and being a herd of sheep, this humorous romp takes it to the next level.

Shaun (Simon Pegg), dumped by his girlfriend Liz (Kate Ashfield), lives with his best friend, Ed (Nick Frost), and is stuck. He goes to the same pub, drinks the same beer, and hangs out with the same friends. He is more or less a zombie, as are the other characters. Yet, Liz wants Shaun to get off his duff, get serious, meet his mum, and move forward. Shaun and Ed's other roommate wants Ed to move out. And Shaun...can't do anything. Not until there's a zombie apocalypse.

Why it Applies

The first zombie they assume is “drunk.” Shaun and Ed are the ultimate duo. They make the end of the world so funny that the first time I saw the film, my best friend and I were doubled over with laughter during some of their back and forth wit. If I don't watch at least part of this movie every Halloween...well, I don't know what would happen, but I can't NOT watch it. Killing zombies becomes a skill and a sport, and Shaun the “do nothing,” becomes the unlikely, fearless leader of a band of friends. There is even a cameo by his old shared television series (Spaced) actress, Jessica Hynes.

Shaun of the Dead gives you hope that when the zombie apocalypse comes, you, the blob, directionless goon will fly into action and start throwing your bad records (No! “that's the first one I ever bought!”) at zombies' heads, save your mum, your best friend, your significant other, and outwit the brain-hunting fluff monsters.

Why it Shouldn't Scare You

We just went over that. You're the unlikely hero. Now there is some gore, but it's not that bad. It's okay enough for Ed to take pictures, so I think you're safe.

The Thing

Not sure why Kurt Russell looks like a depiction of Jesus, but he wants you to "stop, collaborate, and listen"

Kurt Russell and his team of crack scientists are stuck in the arctic doing research when a...a...thing takes over the unit. It slowly infiltrates, but the gang is basically ready. In fact, they can study it while they kill it! Double bonus for the smarties out there!

Why it Applies

Kurt Russell uses a blow torch a LOT. This is awesome. I distinctly remember a rollerskating dude. It's psychological, because you're not sure who to trust, but do you ever know who to trust in a scary movie? In addition to being a good Halloween classic, this film is prepping you for all the winter parkas you'll need to wear and the snow that's coming (unless you live in the South or a Southern Hemisphere continent).

Why it Shouldn't Scare You

It's eerie, and there is one part that's really intense, but other than that, it's a good movie. Kurt Russell totally has your back. Just don't go to the arctic, and if you do, always bring a blow torch.

Arachnophobia

More lessons in weapon use

Unless you have a really bad case of the above mentioned, you can watch this film. If you are deathly afraid of spiders, then move to my other suggestions.

A wild spider sneaks its way into the U.S. and mates with regular barn spider to create...super babies! Jeff Daniels, who hates spiders has to face his fear of them when his house (farm?) is overtaken with them.

Why it Applies

Again, you're on the edge of your seat and creeped out, but unless you're really afraid of spiders, it's just a thriller. Jeff Daniels has to overcome his fear, and that's all of us. If I remember correctly, I think 8-Legged Freaks scared me more than this did (and that's the parody), but it's been awhile.

Why it Shouldn't Scare You

You can kill a spider. If you watch the making of this movie, it makes the movie itself less frightening. The main spider is basically one of those grabber/reacher puppets. Spoiler alert...the spider DOES jump out of the fire. Just be prepared for that.

Jurassic Park

The outstanding graphics of the '90's still hold up over time

In case you hate spiders (and because Jurassic Park is a must-see), let's exchange them for a currency of dinosaurs! Billionaire philanthropist creates a park on an island with dinosaurs which have been made from the juices of a frozen, Mesozoic (era?) mosquito. A bunch of people, including Jeff Goldblum, fly to the island to experience and judge the park to help with logistics before it's opened to the general public.

Why it Applies

Jeff Goldblum is a big-headed actor. Sam Neill and Laura Dern and a couple of kids try to survive the dinosaurs when they get trapped in the park. But Neill and Dern's characters are the Indiana Jones of dinosaurs. So they can totally do this! I just wish Jeff Goldblum was in this movie more. Although, his character is annoying, so maybe not.

Why it Shouldn't Scare You

They can't actually bring dinosaurs to life. Newman is in it (he's more likely to sit on you than you are to come in contact with prehistoric creatures). If you get scared, you can watch the Rifftracks version with Weird Al.

The Addams Family

They're creepy and spooky, but they don't keep you awake after you see them. In fact, they're touching, especially Thing, their pet hand. This is a kids film, but Gomez and Morticia Addams (Angelica Huston) are romantic, their kids (Christina Ricci could not be more perfect as a creepy little girl) are charming, and Gomez's brother (Christopher Lloyd!) has returned to the family.

Why it Applies

A happy romp that goes hand in hand with Nightmare Before Christmas, this is Jack and Sally's future.

Why it Shouldn't Scare You

This is one film that hits the nail on the head. Every family is different, and they may be odd-looking, but they're wonderful at parties.

Alien

Classic film about space aliens starring Sigourney Weaver, the mother of all alien movies. Investigating a nearby planet, a team of space researchers uncover a signal that's meant as a warning.

Why it Applies

Okay, okay, it does get a little bit scary at parts, but again, that's mostly just gore. It's more psychological than anything. Weaver rocks in her role, and you're on her side. Close the mother [bleep]ing doors! You've been exposed. No need to risk the lives of others. Which brings us to a quandry: when do we help our teammates and when do we let them die in space? (Also a question for watchers of The Thing.)

Why it Shouldn't Scare You

Why are you going into space to find aliens if you're afraid of this movie? Answer: if this movie does frighten you, just don't take the job. Problem solved.

The Best and Worst Break up Films

by DionysusPsyche

The Best

1. 500 Days of Summer
   This is one of the films where having an anonymous voiceover doesn't feel out of place. Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Summer (Zoey Deschanel) have different ideas about love and dating, but when Summer breaks Tom's heart, he relives the past year in an attempt and find out what went wrong.
   
   Why it's Great
   The film does an excellent job of not making either character "the bad guy." It shows you that both these people are awesome, and their chemistry is just alive. The film is fun, and even when it's sad, it's still really good.
2. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
   Peter (Jason Segel) tries to put his past girlfriend (whom he works with) behind him by going on vacation. Unfortunately, Sarah (Kristin Bell) has picked the same location.
   
   Why it's Great
   Everyone sooner or later has to deal with seeing their ex with someone else, but sometimes it feels like when we try to escape them the most is when we're forced to resolve the person we thought was The One. The often vulgar humor clashing with Pete's morose mood and frequent crying is amusing, but Jason Segel's character being a composer makes it even better, because it makes us remember how awesome we are. Pete gets to put his dream at the forefront, which helps us say goodbye to all the Sarah Marshalls that don't deserve us.
3. High Fidelity
   Based on the book by Nick Hornby, this is John Cusack as his best as Rob Gordon who goes back through all the lists of women (like he would any album) that he's loved and how they've broken his heart.
   
   Why it's Great
   This is the mother of all break up films, which dissects each major relationship resolving why Rob shouldn't get back together with any of them, and how it's actually his fault that he screwed up the only one that could have worked. Plus, Rob yells at his ex, "Charlie! You fucking bitch! Let's work out." A sentiment that I'm sure a few of us are familiar with.
4. Better Off Dead
   Lane Myers (yes, Cusack again) decides to kill himself after his girlfriend, Beth (Amanda Wyss), breaks up with him for stereotypical jerky jock.
   
   Why it's Great
   It shows teenagers lamenting their love lives in prototypical dramatic fashion of saying that life just isn't worth it unless you're with the girl you're obsessing about. The under appreciated actor that plays Booger from Revenge of the Nerds is in it. There are competitive racing scenes. Ridiculously awesome and weird one-liners. Take your pick.
5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
   Joel (Jim Carrey) goes to a specialty brain surgery clinic where he undergoes a procedure to wipe his girlfriend from his mind.
   
   Why it's Great
   My favorite role for Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, this tells a story in reverse. Erasing the person you love from your mind is a pretty nifty way to get rid of them...until you decide that maybe it was the heat of the anger and you love them, even if you're not together.

The Worst

1. Closer
   Based on a play, this film uncovers the depressing double life of cheating and examining whether or not the person you're with actually loves you.
   
   Why it Sucks
   This film actually might make you feel better about your relationship. It's an interesting story, but it really brings out the worst in human beings which is not what you need right now, especially since you're already probably doubting the past.
2. The Break-Up
   In order to keep their apartment, a couple's (Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn) break up gets worse and worse.
   
   Why it Sucks
   This film pretended to be a comedy so audiences would want to watch us. Yet, it shows us everything we hate about break-ups and then some weird unrealistic terrible additional things this couple does to each other.
3. The Shape of Things
   Quiet, nerdy Adam (Paul Rudd) is entranced by art student with big ideas, Evelyn (Rachel Weisz). Yet their bizarre relationship threatens Adam's friendships with his best friends.
   
   Why it Sucks
   While at times boring and weird, this film actually does not suck. Still, you shouldn't watch it right after a break up. It makes you go back and re-examine your old relationships in a way you should only do long after you've distanced yourself from them.
4. SwingersI have never liked this movie. It magnifies everything I hate about the single life, the single person mentality (especially in the '90's), and the vulnerability that one goes through.
5. Now You Know
   This is about the calling off of an engagement. However, this film is extremely pessimistic about relationships and marriage in general. It was the first film I tried to watch after a break up, and I still can't go back and watch it. It's also not a very good movie.

Hachi: A Dog's Tale (2009)

by DionysusPsyche

Based on a true story, Hachi is a puppy who finds Professor Parker Wilson (Richard Gere) at a train station on his way home. Parker is determined to find the owner, then to find the dog a home, but ends up falling in love with him and forging a bond that can only exist between humans and dogs.

Initially, I had read this book in the children's section of the library, so learning it had been turned into a movie adaptation was a treat. Some of the things that attracted me to this story are that Hachi is played by a real dog, one that doesn't talk animatronically, and isn't surrounded by some ludicrous story about a dog's adventures. The film is primarily seen from Hachi's eyes, and when it does is tells the story of true loyalty, love beyond comprehension, and how we should never, ever forget someone we have lost even as the years go by.

The message is good, although as a pet owner, I have qualms with some of the technicalities of the film. Spoilers beyond this point.

Grievances and Errors: Responsibility
The film was clearly intended for children audiences, and I realize that this is not a tutorial to owning a dog, but the person who wrote the screenplay for this was misinformed.

Although we see Parker working with Hachi and their friendship is strong, people should not have their pets off leash in public places with or without training. It is dangerous to both the dog and other people. What if the dog gets hit by a car? Attacks someone or a cat or child? Gets issued a fine for not showing tags of vaccinations? No one seems overly paranoid that Hachi could meet someone frightened of big dogs or that the Humane Society would see a stray dog and snatch him up or that Hachi would be adopted by someone else. "Oh, it's just Hachi. He knows exactly what he's doing." Um, what?

Hachi is mainly an outside dog in the film, which bothers me on a personal level, but what bothers me more is the fact that they live in the Bay Area in California and seem to get a TON of snow. I kept forgetting they lived there, because of all the snow they got. Now, Hachi is a dog made for cold weather, but if weather is getting that extreme, he should be inside when it gets to be too cold or too hot. Yet, when the dog is skunked he is allowed to be inside, which makes NO sense whatsoever.

I've worked with a lot of people in the animal training and veterinary field, and these are big no-no's. It also gives the wrong message to uneducated pet owners or potential ones that owning a dog is easy. Hachi is a large dog who never pees, gets sick, eats (except for his constant hot dog diet) or requires any maintenance other than being adored by his owners. These all play into my next point.

The original story took place in the 20's and 30's, and I was sad that the adaptation was done in present day. I think it would have had more authenticity, and I wouldn't have had the same complaints.


On the bright side, there is a scene where Parker inquires to the Humane Society only to be told that they are full and cannot accept any new additions. This is completely true, and the movie does serve as a more heartfelt and fuzzy message than the commercials done by Sarah McLaughlin. There are a lot of homeless animals, a lot of unaltered dogs and cats that have more litters every year only to find there are not enough humans to go around for them.


Conclusion
Despite my annoyances about the film, it is a family friendly film, so as long as some of the oversights are pointed out to children and adults alike, I see this as a sweet way to spend time with family. As usual, I get paranoid at the idea that humans view pet ownership as a flippant thing and not a real responsibility, but this is probably true of tons of children's movies, and I just haven't seen enough of them recently.

Ringer

By DionysusPsyche

Ringer is a television show that welcomes back a much beloved actress in a new role. Sarah Michelle Gellar plays Sibhon Martin and her twin sister Bridget Kelly. The show intrigued me, the way stories about twins have sparked my interest since Sweet Valley High's Jessica and Elizabeth from their kid days until college. I even read the special books.

This ain't no Sweet Valley (despite the concept of twins and swapping places).This also isn't a fun fest where Mary-Kate and Ashley run around for 90 minutes of shenanigans.

Bridget Kelly has witnessed a murder. Upon being asked to stand trial by the local police (Nestor Carbonell, Lost and The Tick), she realizes that before and after testifying, she'll be vulnerable to an ex-boss and killer on the loose. Despite years estranged, Bridget flies to New York, where her Shibhon (Shiv-on) has forgiven her. Something strange happens, and Bridget takes on Shibhon's identity, and unbenownst to her, Shibhon's messy life.

Why it's Good

Unlike Revenge or Tru Blood (at least season 1), the antics while stretched from reality, are not far fetched. At least some of the characters are lovable in their own way, and their motives (at least most of them) are understandable. Unlike a lot of shows about broken people who make bad decisions, say a few kind/charming words then make worse decisions, Ringer is about overcoming your past. It's also a rubix cube. Characters say or do things that seem to define them, but when the cube turns, more pieces of the puzzle fall into place.

For Bridget, becoming someone new is relatively easy, since that person is a deep part of her the way twins are. However, entering into Shibhon's life requires some finesse and off the cuff lying to save face. Trying to explain things that Bridget's not had full disclosure on is tricky, but the writers and Sarah Michelle Gellar do a good job of balancing the line between realistic and entertaining. Because Bridget is the solo witness in a trial, keeping her identity secret is crucial to her survival.

Both sisters benefit from this transaction of Bridget's portrayal, even if one of them is not present for many of the moments. The real Shibhon, while she may at one point have been sweet and kindhearted, has been extremely secretive and leads something of a double life without her twin wrapped up in the mix. This gives her an opportunity, a door by which to pass through in order to escape some of the walls she's backed herself into.

Repentence

Unlike Revenge where every episode is another attempt to take a stab at a past ruined by the rich and a failing corporation, Ringer provides us with something more. While Bridget's first priority is to become her new life, she is not willing to completely absorb Shibhon's life as is. Bridget has had her share of rough times, and she has done things she's regretted that have irreperably damaged her relationship with her sister. She also views Shibhon's choices as questionable considering the hand she was dealt.

While Bridget made mistakes in the past, many of the ones she made she didn't do out of malice. In part she begins repairing damage that Shibhon has done to her current life while attempting to make amends to her sister by being the better version of herself. Of either of them. However, perhaps there is reason to believe that Shibhon has not been completely out of line.

The show does a good job of keeping the audience on its toes. At times, it's unclear which twin is which, but the real one always gives herself away. There is also a medium sized cast that works each end to make sure that the over all story arc keeps coming back to the same place. While the show does a good job of answering the questions the audience asks itself while watching, it also does a good job of not overwhelming its viewers by creating too many questions.

Negatives/Spoilers

Towards the end of the first season, the entire plot kind of caves in on itself. The drama becomes more of a night time soap opera than ever. Characters become incestuous in unbelievable ways. One character is replaced by an almost identical one, and we're not talking twins. It's hard to tell if any of the characters are telling the truth, if people will die, if those who've disappeared are dead, and who to point fingers of blame at. It could be that the writers found out the show wasn't renewed for a second season.

Don't get me wrong, I was still hooked on watching the show, but the characters peaked, and everyone was just sort of pooling into one awful character. No one ended up being blameless. Also, one of the characters, I really enjoyed, so I watched it 'til the end just for him.

Conclusion

Ringer is superior to many shows on tv—at first. One season, full of turns and tricks provides mystery and entertainment for awhile. Its momentum and creativity start deteriorating halfway through, and although it temporarily sees bursts of interesting moments, the latter half of the season lacks the originality and curiosity the first half provided. I still think it's worth watching, because it's both interesting and provides characters that require more than one look.

Valentine's Day (2010)

by DionysusPsyche

When the trailer first came out for Valentine's Day, I did what most people in America did. "Oh gooooood, another romantic comedy."

In a lot of ways, I wasn't wrong. It stars an ensemble cast that probably did a promo for movie theatres across the country to entice audiences to come out in mass to go see the movie despite hesitations. In fact, I'm 90% sure I sat through that promo and groaned to whomever I witnessed it with.

For a brief moment, I considered seeing it in theatres. I'm glad I didn't. There are some depressing parts, and watching it on V-day would've been kind of sad.

When one purchases/rents/etc. this film for the first time, they are signing a contract. Said contract dictates that stereotypical moments or even so-common-to-comedy-it's-drained-the-funny-out instances in this movie will be expected. They are expected, and they do happen. I don't want you to get any false ideas up front.

Were I not a willing participant, I would not have rented a film that looks like the multiplicity of romantic comedies. I planned on half watching it and doing other stuff at the same time.

I should've expected that the ensemble cast would dictate that the characters that all live in Los Angeles (angels, cupid, anyone?) would cross paths. How could they not? I'm naive sometimes, so it wasn't something I expected, since there was as little information about the film available even in the promos--although I know they said it and I missed it. It was mainly just actors talking about Valentine's Day and the roles it plays in people's lives whether they want it there or not. Below is a list of the usual suspects.

The Romantic- Person who loves the day. Absorbs the day, lives the day, etc. Is the definition of cutesy and romantic.

The Skeptic- Individual who hates Valentine's Day. Doesn't consider it a "real" holiday. Resents its existence.

The One Who Forgot- "Oh noooooo, I'm in a relationship, and I completely spaced the same day every year and basically only holiday (minus President's Day, and Groundhog Day) that comes that month!" Certainly the only holiday that month you buy a card for (unless you're a groundhog, and I'm pretty sure they don't buy cards for each other since they're either blinded by or hiding from the spotlight).

Those are the main three I anticipated, and of course I knew First Time Love would be on there as well. Yet, despite trying to guess all the right ways I'd come to anticipate a movie like this, it still threw me curve balls. Not a lot. Not enough to convince a hater of romantic comedies to see it. However, for those who are on the fence about Valentine's Day, this movie was entertaining. Will I ever watch it again? Probably not. But it was more Love Actually than Licensed to Wed.

Conclusion
For what it's worth, I liked this film. I would recommend it to others. Redbox this one or borrow it from your local library. I think there was one most surprising anticipated get together that I saw in the trailers that just didn't happen. I won't say what it was, but what I will say is that this movie, not unlike the real holiday is what it is. The few parts of the movie I didn't see coming, were by far the best gifts the film had to offer. I wish it had been more unpredictable like that, but I still enjoyed it.

50 Shades of Grey

by DionysusPsyche

Oh look, a noose from which to hang myself...nope, just a picture

According to Business Insider, this best-seller for 10 weeks in a row is beating all kinds of records. Number of copies sold by week, money dropped to secure film rights, etc. This series, based on Twilight fan fiction by E.L James, has had book stores and grocery stores selling out of the copies. What actually made me want to read it, however, was a review spouting how terrible it was (I'm posting it, but not quite yet). Unsure who to believe, I found the novel cheaper than I could pass up, so I snatched it up and took it home. It didn't take long to figure out who's side more accurately reflected my own. Below, I will try to be as objective as possible, even though it may seem otherwise.

Anastasia Steele is a clutzy, no self-esteem, bozo who has never liked a guy, kissed a guy, or held hands with a guy (I'm speaking off the cuff, and that last part was definitely part Back to the Future line, but no, I'm not exaggerating). That would make her eleven years old in human years (tops unless she's asexual, which she's not), but according to the novel, she's graduating college (still not entirely sure how or why). When her roommate, Kate, takes ill, Ana willingly interviews the mysterious Christian Grey, an intimidating entrepreneur and philanthropist, who is an alumni of their university. After making a horrible first impression, Ana falls into a topsy turvy "relationship" with Chrisian.

I've had my share of fantasy novels, where I've had to suspend my belief (to clarify, a genre combined with sci-fi, not to be confused with erotica which the novel is, sort of, "not until chapter ____!" claimed one fan). I've read bad writing, created bad writing, and attempted to edit bad writing. I've read it, and I've come to the assumption that this novel was never actually edited (I can only assume the editor died of disgust). This one takes the shit disguised as cake cake. The characters are completely unbelievable--ridiculous, cliche to the point of nausea, and dumber than a bag of...anything, really, just take your pick.

Like this, but less sparkly

On the bright side, the novel is a fast read. Easy, because you already know where it's going. Easy, because this book diluted and dressed up on the freaking best seller list as "literature," goes fast when there's nothing but air between you and the pages and the author's brain. Hard, because it hurts to read it. The foreshadowing screams. The main character is a whiny piece of cardboard that you want to get into a BDSM relationship just so someone will smack her around a little (or a car crash, since they're rarely construed as sexual). The only personality that she displays is one of lacking. She's jealous of her beautiful, smart best friend. She can't understand what Christian would ever see in her, and is continually confused by his interest in her (honey, it's called a stalker). She works at a hardware store, but never describes anything related to this--nor could she be construed as helpful. She has two other men who are interested in her (again, I'm not sure why) whose existence she barely acknowledges. One even sounded fantastic, but Ana can't see him as a "literary hero." Based on her powers of observation and inability to even take a hint, she can't know what that means.

Unlike some of the best books I've read that begin with unforgettable sentences, incredible scenes, and strong, vivacious characters, our heroine begins her story by telling us about how much her hair sucks. If you don't believe me, read it. She follows this by telling us how her roommate got sick (basically on purpose) and is more or less forcing her through charm (whaaat?) to do an interview 3 hours away when the main character is not even a writer at the school's newspaper and has finals *foot stomp.* The book is full of these kinds of oversights, despicable displays of "typical girl stuff" which the author should be ashamed of, unnecessary repetition of descriptions, stupidity on every character's part, and chalk full of stereotypes (weak willed submissive woman meets strong and dominant man for vomit-inducing scenes!).

I would struggle to think of why this book is so popular, but the answer is easy. Sex. One of the creepiest things about this is the audience--housewives. In possibly one of the saddest articles I have ever read (not counting deaths and injury by abuse), women called into SiriusXM radio and told them that they loved how sexually confident Grey is and how he "takes care of" Ana. That's one point of view. Another is that he's a controlling, cold man who's attracted to a woman so stupid that she steps out into the street and almost gets hit by a bicyclist in one of the greenest cities ever. However, things she could learn from a small child could fill up the rest of this review, so I'll say this: ladies, if you want to be turned on by a novel, read one that's not degrading.

Conclusion
A screeching reminder that just because something is popular, does not make it good. Sadly (unless you're a fan of Stephanie Meyers), it even made me appreciate Twilight. Why? Well, this author did fan fiction about it first. She has two kids, and she's in her forties so...why is she doing fan fiction? Secondly, the whiny Bella is a teenager. Teenagers make a lot of stupid decisions.

The number of criticisms I could make about 50 Shades is nearly endless, so instead, I'll let this blogger say them instead. Read 50 Shades of Grey at your own curiosity and horror, if you want to lose faith in humanity, are looking to lower brain cells without doing drugs, or if your normal porn is getting too real or is stuck between the mattress and the wall. If you haven't practiced rolling your eyes lately or want some more expensive toilet paper than necessary, this book is definitely for you (or if you end up hating it after you finish it).

The Voice: Season 3

By DionysusPsyche

Kick off this year for Season 3 was intense. I don't mean that the stakes felt higher. I mean, I felt like there were more episodes this time than there were last year. Maybe that's because last year was my virgin/honeymoon period with the show. Second season aired right after the Superbowl, which was good because my place, like tons of homes across the U.S., we left our tv on in a post-food/football exhausted stupor. This year, there were 3 episodes, Monday through Wednesday where Round 1 consists of the judges choosing and fighting over singers to have them on their teams.

Reality TV

There's nothing particularly real about any show, except the illusion that its actually happening. There are a set of people that will never watch The Voice because they avoid reality tv. That's all right. Audiences watch the same shows for different reasons or for varying levels of the same reasons. I primarily watch this for the judges and their amusing relationships with each other and their team. Someone else I know mostly views it for the singing, and another loves the drama the best. It's impossible to watch reality television without some shaudenfreude, and appreciation in one form or another for pettiness on the show is what drives this type of programming. It's less about the activity and more about how the action and emotions in it are mixed like a blender.

The Coaches

You probably know, but I'll tell you anyway.

Christina

Stats: Used to be on The Mickey Mouse Club with Brittney Spears and Justin Timberlake and was part of the late 90's pop scene. She still makes albums and cameos in movies.

Preferences for up-and-comers: People who can belt it out, and tends to look for ultimate star power potential.

Dislikes: When talent rivals her own in a different venue. People who can't hit high notes. Tries to be the Paula but doesn't quite pull it off as she's considerably patronizing.

Last year's defining moment: Fighting with Adam. Trying to break Chris Mann out of his classic training to become mainstream.
Known for: Of all the judges, Christina tries the hardest to get team members and because of her notoriety has the easiest time getting picked by them. Extremely competitive. Almost wardrobe malfunctions of the mammory variety. Has weird hats that rival Cee Lo's.

Cee Lo

Stats: Half of the Gnarles Barkley/Danger Mouse group, has his own solo album, and produces other music he views as worthy.

Preferences for up-and-comers: Unique voices that he can help mold and grow (Cee lo picks those who are interesting and require the most guidance).

Dislikes: The status quo and drama

Last year's defining moment: Transforming Juliet Simms, and almost winning the Voice last year.
Known for: More than any of his peers, Cee lo really tries to find a musical blending of what he can offer and his talent's particular voice. Is probably the most eclectic of the group. Outfits, toupees, and onstage pets that tweet and get the audience amused

Blake

Stats: A Texas born country singer, his first big hit was in 2001 with the song “Austin.” Married to Miranda Lambert.

Preferences for up-and-comers: Spunk. If they sing country or really interesting rock, he tries to nab them. Also hot chicks.

Dislikes: When possible singers pick Adam over him.

Last year's defining moment: When his team member, Jermaine Paul won the title of The Voice for season 2.

Known for: Drinking on stage, awesome one-liners (sometimes a back and forth dual with Adam), and his husky accent. Definitely one of the funnier coaches. Plays off Christina and especially Adam.

Adam

Stats: Part of Maroon 5, and after regrouping and renaming, released their debut album in 2002. Probably the second most famous of the group.

Preferences for up-and-comers: Talented—someone who he could tour with (one of the members from his team last year was on tour with him this past summer)

Dislikes: Singers' inability to optimize their voice and pick songs that work for them.

Last year's defining moment: Picking former Mickey Mouse Club star, Tony Luca, for his team (which angered Christina). Upon her criticism of Luca, Adam talked Luca into singing “Baby One More Time” by Christina's rival Brittney Spears' to show off his talent and to make her even more annoyed.

Known for: Sense of humor and using it to push buttons of the other judges. His ability to articulate what did and didn't work for someone in the song of their choice. His friendship with Blake.

Going once, Going twice...

There are multiple rounds. In the first, the above mentioned pick their teams then coach them. The next involves the chosen ones battling against each other within their teams where their coach decides the winner, and the last one resides on individual performances. The last round involves home viewership voting—even though the futility of the maxed out website gets the best of us.

The first round is by far my favorite, because to me, the judges fighting over contestants like the last piece of meat at the market is almost more competitive than the people who are actually singing. Less so now that they added an element, one that I'll address in a minute.

Everyone has his/her own sob story where they try to gain audience appeal by sympathy. You get “my parent has/has died from cancer,” “I lost (insert family member here) when I was ___,” and “I was ostracized when I was little.” The stories always end with “music got me through,” which is a backwards, lamer version of VH1's “Behind the Music.” While the potential's background story is fun to guess, the stories themselves are boring/repetitive. Then Carson Daly comes in, pretends to act interested, and then they sing with their family backstage.

What's Happening on The Voice: Week 1 In Review

This year, the coaches can steal talent from other teams. I'm not sure if this is going to be done outright or if coaches are going to have to switch them out NFL style. To be honest, I don't really care, I'll enjoy the surprise.

Cee Lo seems a bit low key this year and doesn't appear to be trying as hard to pick up new artists. Perhaps he's under contract and just wants out? Or is bummed out for not having won the first two years? It's also possible he's staying under the radar for now in order to come out on top later (as in steal the talent he lost out on). He's also changed out his Persian cat, Purrfect, for a pink cockatiel. Or else the cat is taking a rest from fame, possibly holing up in Kitty Rehab.

Christina and Adam seem less competitive this season in the first three episodes than they were this time last year when it got down right uncomfortable. While Christina is staying quiet, her breasts are doing all the talking. Who's job is it to shove them back in her super tight tank top?

There are more country music singers in the first few episodes, and Blake has picked up basically all of them. Which seems weirdly suspicious. While Blake does enjoy a good Southern sound, it's almost like there was a commercial slogan with the words “collect them all” (he did pass on one country singer). He can do the most for them though, and they all know this (Miranda Lambert and Jewel were two of his guest coaches last year).

Carson is upbeat, which was my biggest surprise. Last year you could hear the “this is hell, I couldn't care less” in his voice and lack of facial expressions. Occasionally, he jumped in early with “okay, judges, it's time to make a decision.” They have him backstage with the participants family, and on one occasion, he seemed more jazzed about the performances than the family. He either cut a deal or someone gave him some depression medication, because he's just peppier this time around.

Highlights so far

Adam impersonating Blake.

Adam running around the stage to punch Blake in the arm and then go back to his chair.

Blake moonwalking.

Carson with personality.
Blake tries to convince a contestant to be on his team, because they "both wear vests." No good.

Drinking Game

For you at home who watch, this is the part when I reveal an addition to your normal viewing (or maybe just different rules if you already do this). For those who don't watch but would like to, you can do this too. For those who weren't going to watch (and if so, thanks for continuing to read!) but now are intrigued, here are the rules.

Drink Every Time...

Cee Lo's pet of choice appears with him

Christina almost falls out of her clothes

A coach impersonates another coach

One of the contestants cries

“This is The Voice!” is announced

A judge chooses Carson (spoiler alert: Carson doesn't sing. If for some reason he does, drink twice)

Blake points to himself

The judges perform together (note: NOT with their team)

Our reporter uses the word “trending”

A coach says they weren't “feeling it”

Adam makes a joke or he and Blake reference their love for each other

Someone says that Blake has been drinking (drink twice if this person is Blake)

Anyone sings an Adele song

Warning! If you're going to play this drinking game, do so at your own risk. No blame should be exacted on the writers of this blog for any alcohol poisoning or repurcussions for an absence at work due to a hangover.

The Book Thief (2005)

by DionysusPsyche

Books, books, books

As an elementary school and junior high student, I read a handful of unforgettable books. They not only gave adolescents across the board literary heroes their age to admire, but transformed and hopefully imprinted the history on the minds who read them. The books were based on actual events and sturdied by strong roots they were tied to (minus the non-fictional account which was also important which I will mention by name shortly).

Every few years though, it felt like we went back to one particular point in history—a horrific and saddening series of years that everyone, most of all teachers of young children, thought were important lessons to learn. After all, ages ten through fourteen can be the sweetest or the cruelest years of all.

A Book About Someone Who Loves Books

The Book Thief revolves around a little girl who is present during the rise of Hitler and the Nazis and what it meant for her and others, like The Diary of Anne Frank or Number the Stars. The book doesn't hit you over the head with facts (although it didn't obscure them either), and you don't need to know much about the war in order to read and enjoy the story. Although it's a good idea to prepare yourself.

The narrator is the most apt and unusual one I've come across so far—it is told by Death. By the time he tells the story, it is many years past the war. Yet, he remembers it accurately—how could he forget? Death is weary, reluctant, and knows no rest. He's collected many, many souls, and he is not a narrator who enjoys his life's work, although he tries to do right by it. Claiming he is always in “the right place at the right time,” Death has, like those he takes with him, been dealt a hand to play. When he first comes across the book thief, otherwise known as Liesel, he is intrigued.

Upon first learning the truth about the narrator, I was hesitant to continue. It's disturbing when the voice of your novel is the ultimate fear, and when the time is 1930's Germany, it is obvious he is going to be an integral part of it. He's not the side character as is the voice in The Great Gatsby or someone you can initially write off like Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye.Yet, I wanted to see where he was going with this, and thankfully I did. There may be solemn and depressing moments, but the happy ones and the optimistism that comes out was one worth reading and waiting for.

A piece of what draws you in is the fact that Death drops hints and not-so-veiled spoilers about what will happen, but the reader doesn't know when and how these things will take place. Hence, each chapter brings a quicker heartbeat and even segments that begin benignly and beautifully carry an air of apprehension, which must have been what it was like living back then.

Characters

Liesel, like the story teller, has seen a rough life. She's adopted just after watching her brother die in her arms. She's scared, sad, and confused. Throughout the novel, as things become worse for Germany and Liesel's family, she, like any young girl, comes into her own. As a child, when things are off, one has the sense that something is wrong, but not how or why. This is how Liesel feels at the beginning, but by the end of the novel, she has a clearer sense of what is right, what is wrong, and what lines can be blurred due to the state of the country.

Fortunately, she has some wonderful people in her life that play significant roles in making her the woman she becomes. Her father, Hans Hubermann, is an upstanding, gentle, and joking painter who plays the accordian. He also teaches Liesel how to read. I loved Hans, and from the moment he's introduced, I knew that he's going to be for Liesel what Atticus Finch is for Scout.

Despite their poor existence, her father rarely has work and her mother does laundry for a select few of the richer folks in town, Hans tries to give Liesel a better life. He soothes her nightmares, he hugs her, he sells his cigarettes (one of his few wordly pleasures) to buy her Christmas presents. Hans is everything a father should be, and he's also one hell of a friend and employee, cheering up those around him, making wise cracks, helping out those less fortunate to create a better world.

Hans' one shortcoming in the book makes him a hero in ours—he is not a follower of the Gestapo nor a member of the Nazi party. Hans is the first person we meet in the book who is a non-conformist, and during that time period, it was not only popular in Germany to be pro-Hitler, but it was dangerous if you weren't. Hans attempts to hide his beliefs and keep his opinions to himself recognizing the problems it could cause for his family. Yet, because he's such an upstanding person, his true colors shine through to those who know him, and it causes rifts.

But my favorite person is Liesel's best friend and neighbor, Rudy Steiner. In many ways, Rudy is a younger, brighter, more boisterous and exuberant version of Liesel's father. Except Rudy is a little crazy. He's obsessed with the athlete Jesse Owens, loves soccer, and adores Liesel. Constant confidantes, Rudy and Liesel are inseparable and always up to something together—Liesel's always looking for a new book, and Rudy's always hungry. He would do anything for her and does do a great deal.

The Best and the Worst of Us

Because it is a novel aimed at youth, many disconcerting, uncomfortable, and awful daily and historical moments are left out. War does involve perishing, and the narrator reminds us that victims are random. The ones left behind often feel responsible and bad for having escaped it. Guilt and abandonment show up frequently in the novel. However, Liesel's opinion of abandonment shifts slightly as the book, and the war, progresses. She learns that people move through our lives, and a reason for leaving, in certain circumstances, is to protect us. Kindness is also something Liesel gains through bravery of doing the right thing. Of course, she already has some kindness in her, but she borrows some from the friends and family she makes along the way.

Conclusion

Zusak superbly paints his words, and he uses them so well, that The Book Thief may become one of my permanent favorites. I found memorable quotations everywhere without trying, and his characters only improved further along. His writing is comparable to a meal you've been looking forward to, one that will be better, tastier, and something appreciated. First, you'll start to salivate at the idea, then you smell the meal. You take the first bite, and eat voraciously, until you remember that this dinner (or lunch or breakfast) is a priveledge, and then you slow down. Soon, you're full. You sit back and digest, but after a bit, you keep trying to eat again even though it hurts. Even when I put it down, The Book Thief was never far from my mind.

It is a classic to add to the collection of interesting and amazing literature that is essential for not only its timepiece in history, but for the heart. I wouldn't recommend it for very young children, and at times, I found the emotional waters heavy to navigate, even as an adult, or maybe moreso because of adulthood.

However, I think that the audience from that suggestion is wide enough to include anyone who enjoys a whole hearted story of herocism and a reminder that despite all the evil and fear in the world, there are wonderful humans with good intentions.