Sunday, August 12, 2012

10 Films I Hate That Everyone Else Loves

by DionysusPsyche

You're going to disagree with this list, but believe me, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm sure some of your favorite movies no one else appreciates or there's that one person who refuses to watch your movie with you. Besides, I don't always watch the most popular movies, so this is a chance to tell the internet (and Hollywood) how I feel about films I don't want to see remade.

Part of the reason for the qualifier, is because there are worse movie lists. You know what they are, hell, you probably watched some of them just because they're so bad. I couldn't sit through Birdemic or Manos Hands of Fate, and I still haven't seen Plan 9 From Outerspace.

The other reason for this list is that it recently occurred to me that I usually only review movies, books, and tv shows that I like for the purpose that I like people to enjoy with I've enjoyed. Talking about what makes you happy makes you happy—or at least, happier.

However, if this list saves someone from watching a movie they already feel iffy about, reconsider watching a movie just because it is well-loved, or makes someone feel that they are not alone in disliking a movie, I will feel that this post has fufilled its purpose. Here's the list in no particular order.
  1. The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)
    Yes, the misspelling of this film is the first thing I disliked about it. I'm by no means a nationwide spelling bee champion (although I did do well in elementary school, thanks). It's misspelled for a specific reason which I won't reveal in case you feel like watching the film after I'm done reviewing it.

    I know what you're thinking—it's Will Smith overcoming diversity, struggling to make a better life for his son (yes, Will Smith's real life son plays his character's son in the film) despite the odds that are against him. Sounds awesome, right? I want to say right out of the gate that I'm not opposed to movies where an underdog achieves success or tries to make a better life for his/her kid. There are movies out there like this one with which I'm perfectly content.

    The entire 117 minutes are intense. Will he get the job? Will he and his son starve? Can't someone give this guy a break? Where are they going to shower? Yet, what sent me over the edge (and yes, people have repeatedly told me I'm wrong about this) was the scene where Chris and his son are standing in line waiting for a chance to eat.

    Many (most) Americans like to believe that homeless people are homeless, because they're lazy, have unforgivable addiction issues, are unethical, stupid, or love living off the government. It makes them easier to pass on the street. What this film portrays is that there are many, many people just like Chris and his son who want the chance to prove themselves. Who want a better life and are struggling each and every day. Maybe they're not homeless yet. Maybe they're just extremely poor or down on their luck. Yet, they're out there. They're everywhere, and there's more of them than you'd like to think.

    To say that I walked away from this film angry is an understatement. It made me hate the entire human race. Which could very well be a good reason for everyone (especially bratty, whiny kids or rich, undeserving adults) to watch this movie. Viewers should watch films that make them uncomfortable and make them want to change the world. However, this film did not give me hope. It made me entirely too aware of how unfortunate so many people are and made me feel like most of them will die alone and desolate.

  2. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
    Everyone told me to watch this film. They all said that it was unlike any film I would ever see. They also compared it to Forrest Gump. That was probably not a good thing to compare it to, since I really like the latter film (although, I saw it when I was twelve, so what do I know?).

    For those who have been living under a rock, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is about a guy who ages backwards. Yes, he's born an old man and grows up to become a baby. This is not to say that the film was all bad. There are important matters brought to light. Don't abandon your child because he/she is different/sick/ugly. Old people and children are a lot alike. Aging is a part of life. Don't ever major in dance (I'm mostly joking here).

    However, for me, it was just a weird film, and it's way too long. I have nothing against the actors—I've seen Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt in other movies and liked them. The story, the characters, the aging backwards...I just never got into it. When a significant twist happens in the film between our main characters, I am livid. I continued to watch the movie just so I could get to the end just in case the film miraculously changed my mind. It didn't.
    I'm also not sure why Golom is in it...

  3. A Beautiful Mind (2001)
    Okay, I see I've angered you. I probably shouldn't have put this on the list. I can exchange it for Gladiator if you prefer (nope, I like Russell Crowe in other films, just not those). Cool, I'll go on.

    I love the psychology of the mind. I enjoy learning about smart people and how they became famous for being smart. The idea of someone becoming a genius instead of ending up on the front page of the paper for killing masses makes a much better story/movie based on real life. If you like schizophrenic success stories I recommend the book The Center Cannot Hold. I found it a much better story over all. This one was slow, confusing, and depressing.

  4. Fargo (1996)
    Two henchmen are hired by William H. Macy (that's the actor's name, by the way) to kill his wife. Things go awry.

    I'm not from the Midwest, so the humor was totally lost on me. I just sat in almost complete silence for an hour and a half. Unlike some films I've gone to, I went into this neither being overly expectant or ready to leave unimpressed, and it still let me down (but then, I'm probably not the film's target audience). There are very few Cohen Brothers films I actually like. They might surprise you.

  5. Dr. Strangelove (1964)I've tried to sit down and watch this several times, and I can never get through it. At first I thought that it was who I watched it with, so I tried it again. That wasn't it. Then I tried different times of day, mixing up the time of year, but I just never get to the end. It could be that everyone I watch it with wants me to love it just a little too much. I try to force myself to sit through it and just end up resenting it more as time passes.

  6. Inglorious Basterds (2009)
    This I had expectations for, and I won't lie about that. I love Tarantino. Pulp Fiction had me mesmorized. I enjoyed Kill Bill. It was going to knock me out. I was going to laugh at how stupid Nazis were and watch evil people get killed. I was going to cheer and holler and rave.

    I fell asleep. It was not action packed. In fact, there was so much build up and so much talking that it quite literally lulled me to dreamland. I did see the most interesting parts, because my friend woke me up.

  7. Donnie Darko (2001)
    I love time travel. I love alternate universes and weird, creepy, old ladies (actually, I don't love the last one). I even love Jake and Maggie Gylenhaal, so I was pretty pissed that they let me down, and Jake spent the majority of the movie walking around with a frightening bunny. I was told it was deep and meaningful and important. I still don't fully recognize why Donnie Darko had to go to extremes or anything that happened in the movie or why it happened, except the moment when Donnie Darko jumps out of the bus. That was the most identifiable and great part of the movie complete with accurately lined up Tears for Fears song.

    Someday, I'm going to watch the Director's Cut, because I hear that it's better and actually explains the film. But I was disappointed down to the other Tears for Fears song at the end.

  8. Say Anything... (1989)
    Ladies, you don't like Lloyd Dobler. You love John Cusack. For over a decade, audiences (mostly women) have been wrong about this movie. Also, liking someone who's going to be a boxer when he “grows up” and is obsessed with the hollow shell of a female lead/valedictorian is just stupid. Plus, why is Frasier Crane's dad in that movie? And why is he going to jail? Don't let Marty Crane go to jail! Oh wait, he's a jack ass too.

    If it's the scenes where Cusack is just riding around in the car with his tape recorder or hanging out with his friends, that would've been fine. As it was, I couldn't stand this movie, especially the female lead. Like so many other films I hoped to like, I stayed 'til the bitter end.
    Looks endearing enough. But so do the flying rabbits in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
  9. The Karate Kid (1984)
    Again, I'm all for the underdog, but you don't just win a karate tournament against a kid who's been training his entire life because Mr. Miagi is working with you. I did love the scene at the dance though.

  10. Avatar (2009)
    I try not to get political about films, and I tried to set aside those feelings for the film. Regardess, they seeped in. I will acknowledge that the CGI in this movie is commendable, however the story and characters were not. James Cameron should not be the king of anyone's world. I don't go to a film to see graphics, and although it's a frequently used reason, guys, this was Pocahontas. I did find it amusing how we were supposed to root for nature when people went to see it for its computer animation.
Please note: none of the films I've reviewed are terrible movies. Their camera people, actors, and directors were of (I'm assuming) sound mind when they were made. Most of these movies have more than just one thing going for it that made me dislike it enough to add it to this list, but none of them impressed me as much as they apparently impressed everyone else.

Honorable mentions: Gladiator, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Wall-E


  1. Benjamin Button - It sounds like your hopes were raised to impossible levels by comparison to Forrest Gump that just weren't met! C'est tragique! Ah well. It happens. :P

    A Beautiful Mind - Yeah, this movie was fucking depressing. I agree. Didn't stop me from liking it, but it did stop me from wanting to watch it again.

    Inglorious Basterds - The only awesome thing about this movie is the villain. Every scene with him is INTENSE and/or hilarious. Also, the Basterds (and Brad Pitt) faking Italian accents was just priceless. Everything else was pretty much fail.

    Donnie Darko - I pretty much agree with you verbatim on this one.

    Avatar - It was also Fern Gully! Fuck that shit!

    All the other ones I didn't comment on I haven't seen and probably never will. Thanks for the warning. ;)

  2. Haha, oh I forgot about Fern Gully! Yeah, I pooped out on my dislike towards the end. I won't lie, I wanted to do Gladiator instead of A Beautiful Mind, but I choked. Needless to say, I did not include it in my list. I should rewrite that...

  3. I'd definitely be curious to hear why you dislike Gladiator a lot (though I'd prefer you wrote it out rather than pooped it out ;P). I am not a HUGE Gladiator fan, but I liked it pretty well. If you added it to your list, I'd read it.

  4. I'd have to go back to this movie to remember why I disliked it. But my husband sites my reason for disliking this movie the same as Lethal Weapon and Die Hard: "it's a guy movie." And I'm not AGAINST guy movies, per say.

    Well, I was planning on pooping out a response, but since you put it so nicely, I guess I'll have to rewatch it. I do like SOME movies Russell Crowe is in, despite what you may think.