Saturday, April 2, 2011

Snakes On A Plane

Written by Joe the Revelator

I don’t know how to accurately describe the greatness of this movie, except to endlessly gush over it, so bear with me. To call Snakes on a Plane better than Citizen Kane would be like comparing a high-torque muscle car hot off the tracks, to one of the original steam cars. Citizen Kane was clunky and plodding by comparison, a weak predecessor as far as movie phenomena are concerned, and not nearly as poignant to the ills of today as Snakes.

Samuel L. Jackson stars in this movie epic, in what I believe is his hardest hitting, most edgy role yet. His every move on camera sends chills down the spine and his rages reach out to the viewer like an electric current. His every scream reverberate the dangers of the movie, the pulse-pounding anxiety of being locked in a confined space with the evil serpents. Jackson’s work in Pulp Fiction, Deep Blue Sea, and Black Snake Moan, are overshadowed by his stunning performance in this movie. It’s truly unfortunate that he was passed over for an Oscar.


What more can I say about this thrill ride? The score is fantastic, moving seamlessly with the scenes better than anything John Williams ever did for Star Wars. The roll of the drums and the orchestra crescendos will shock you with every venomous fang bite. You’ll literally attempt to suck the venom out of your wounds halfway through this movie. And the directing couldn’t have been better. The palpable tension of each scene rivals that of American History X.

The words “Cult Classic” come to mind, but I don’t think it can be a cult classic with such a large, devoted fan following. Dune was a cult classic. Snakes on a Plane is simply a classic, too young yet to be given its due. In time I hope to see a novel adaptation, maybe even woven into high school curriculums across the nation.


April fool’s everybody! Snakes on a Plane is a terrible movie, and should be avoided like the plague.

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